Here are most of the stories so far
Windmills & Wooden Shoes.
As a songwriter I find it hard, when writing about people from specific places or places and cultures, I find it hard not to be cliche. Anyway here is a song about a girl from Holland called ‘Windmills and Wooden Shoes’. I wrote this song in the summer of 2012, and I remember the year because it was during the London olympics. At the time I was camping in the south of France (It’s not as cool as it sounds, I was about 18 and on a camping holiday with my family). So there was a small hut in the middle of the campsite where they’d set up a little TV for anyone that wanted to watch the Olympics. I used to be into my athletics and sports in general so I would often visit. There was also this lady who would go to watch the olympics and she was the only person who was near my age range, and we kept catching each others eye but I don’t think wither of us were confidant enough to initiate a conversation, I mean I didn’t even know if she could speak English, and I’d only be able to ask her what her name is and ask where she lives in French and that would be the end of the conversation. I would be able to translate her answers either! So a few evenings went by without us ever talking, and then I was my last night there and it was the night Usain Bolt had his 100m race, so everyone was excited and the little hut was a lot busier than usual. There were people from all across the world, you could here all different accents and languages and it was a really cool experience. So after Usain’s race finishes the room starts to empty until there are very few people there. The people that are left are all talking to each other except from myself and the lady. There’s no reason for her to be here now, and to be honest there is no reason for me to be there either. Maybe she’s waiting for someone or something - I don’t know. All I know is that this is my last chance to probably ever speak to this person, and I can tell that she’s been looking over to me. Maybe she’s trying to send a signal over or maybe she’s not. Anyway, I wait for her to look over at me switch my phone off and pretend that it’s battery has run out. Then I wait for her to look away and quickly hide my watch in my pocket. Then I walked over to her and said: No Heart-break here.
This song takes place around thirteen years old. I was only a teenager but I was in a very serious relationship. We had been together for almost 3 months.That is like 3 years in adult relationships. It was a turbulent time however, it was definitely what you would call an ‘on again, off again’ relationship. One day we’d break up and the next we’d be together again as if nothing had happened. I remember the very first time she broke up with me, I was heartbroken! It ripped me apart, but luckily a day or two later we were back together. Then I remember the second time, I was completely numb and heartbroken, at least until we got back together. I even remember the third time, I was completely heartbroken, but then we got back together. And then there was the fourth time and I was a little heartbroken… and the the fifth time, and I kinda noticed this pattern. It had happened so much that it became almost like a routine. I was doing things half assed because I thought, well we’ll always get back together and when she’d break up with me I wouldn’t mind so much, because I knew we’d end up back together. I remember at the time writing a song about the situation in one of my notebooks and I’d left the notebook only bed and she came over one time and found the page and read the lyrics that went something along the lines of ‘it has happened so many times before, I don’t get that broken and numb feeling anymore’. So, she broke up with me. But, I didn’t really feel that numb or broken feeling. And we were back together a day or two later. But I remember the one time that she broke up with me, something felt a little different. There was a weird tone to her voice and I didn’t like it. We were at her house, and she sat me down. I was on her bed and she was sat facing me and she told me it was over, but this time for good. This felt final. I was genuinely numb and just in denial. I’d become complacent and naive. Part of me is thinking, don’t worry, there’s no heartbreak here because this happens all the time but for some reason this time felt different. Make Believe.
This song is from the perspective of a pigeon. There’s not much more to say. Well I guess there is a bit more to it. So, the pigeon was starting a new job and was quite nervous as we all are on our first day, right? And it wasn’t really his ideal job, it was just something to help pay the bills while he still figures some things out. Anyway, Pablo was just rather nervously adjusting his tie before he walked into his new bosses office at the bus station. He enters the office and is greeted by a couple of the higher uppers, and they are all lovely! They give him a big warm welcome and give him a quick tour around the building. A couple of weeks go past and Pablo is really getting into the swing of things at the bus station. He’s feeling involved in the social side as well and has made some good friends and they often go out for food and drinks. There was also a bird that had taken his eye, and she wasn’t quite in the social group but she’d turn up every now and then. Pablo had gotten on well with her and hadn’t thought much about it until one night where they spent a very long long time just talking bout nothing and everything. It just felt so natural and nice and since then they’d talk every now and then in the staff room. And it grew to the point that he’d plan his lunch breaks at the same time as her so that they could have a chat. But the thing is this, Pablo, as I’m sure you remember, is a pigeon. And the other bird is a dove. Now this may sound normal to us humans, but let me tell you (no offence to Pablo) but a dove is way out of a pigeon’s league. That’s why Pablo had felt so comfortable in Diane’s presence (Diane is the Dove). But he’d notice that she’d always save him a seat in the staffroom… which probably means nothing, but could it mean that she wants to marry him? Pablo thought that maybe he should go to see his friend Paddy to ask what his thoughts were, but he knows the it’d just be something along the lines of “Ha, you’re a pigeon and she is a dove! A DOVE.” But what you may have realised about Pablo is that he is a bit of an optimist. And he’d been noticing the way that Diane was smiling at him or laughing along with him on their lunch breaks, he’d been nothing that she would often safe his seat at lunch, so maybe there was something there? But at the same time he knows that she is on her way toward much greater things, greater than Pablo could every imagine. Diane has a really bright future ahead of her and Pablo doesn’t want to hold her back in any way, he just wants her to spread her wings and fly away into the window - I mean sunset. So Pablo went for a walk to clear his head. He had to try and think things over - is it worth risking a really great friendship? Is Diane on the same wavelength? Or is it just make believe? Something that Pablo had manifested within his own mind. Pablo took a deep breath and went back to the office. He walked confidently up the stairs, straightened his tie and puffed his chest out. He knocked on a door. And Dian opened it “Come in Pablo” She said. Pablo took another breath as he entered. He knew what he was going to say. “What can I do for you Pablo?” Asked Diane. Pablo stood up straight, he looked at Diane straight in the eyes, and said “Can I borrow a pen and paper I need to make a list.” She hands him some paper and a pen and he goes outside and starts to write words down, he’s just trying to get his thoughts onto paper to see if it helps bring any clarity to the situation. So there he is with his pen, and he starts to write. |
Where are you going?
This is a song about something that I hope to god other people experience. Otherwise it’s just plain creepy. But you know, there are a lot of great songs that are really creepy! The obvious one would be ‘I'll be watching you’ by the Sting and the Popo. It’s pretty much about stalking but everyone loves it and often people interpret it as romantic. Or how about the Dylan song ‘To make you feel my love’. To MAKE you feel my love. Is it me, or is that not really keeping in line with #metoo? Anyway, my point is that this song isn’t meant to be creepy. So, it was a normal Friday afternoon for this guy. He was sat in a bush by the train station - I should probably explain. There were some youths around and he had his very precious guitar with him and didn’t want to risk anything as in this area people had already tried to steal from him before. So he did what any normal person would, hide in a bush to avoid them. You may laugh, but it worked. Anyway, it was time for the train so he got out of the bush and headed across the street. Mission accomplished. He thought to himself actually that maybe they wouldn’t rob him today because a lot of people had been avoiding him for no reason that day. Just walking down the street and people would give him a wide birth, maybe because of the guitar on his back? Anyway. He walked through the barrier, which is a bit of a struggle with a guitar and he also had a bag of human poo. oh, I should explain that bit of the story. So the guy’s flatmate had found a company that would pay you to send your poop to them for science or something. So obviously they both signed up. The decided not to waste anytime and get the deed done and drop of the samples the next morning. But the flatmate was called into work the next morning so the guy had to take both samples into town with him. So that’s why he had some poop in a bag. So there he was, waiting for a train in the rain, with about 100 quids worth of shit in his hand. In a bag. Not just, in his hand. He put the bags down for a moment so he could reach for his book from his bag to read for the train. And as he was reaching for the book a girl came up behind him and gave a strange look. “I think your egg sandwich has gone off mate’ she said pointing at the bags. “oh it’s not mine!’ He replied - in a much higher pitch than he’d every spoken in before, even before his balls dropped. ‘It was here when I got here.’ He said, backing away from the bomb. ‘It stinks of shit. Do you think it’s just a bag of shit?’ “pfft no! Why would someone shit in a bag!’ There was an awkward pause. ‘Maybe for money?’ She said. “would you shit in a bag for money?’ ‘Depends how much” He replied. And with that she smiled then walked away. The train arrived and the girl reappeared to get onto the carriage. So the guy didn’t know what to do. The whole reason he went into town was to drop off the package and make an easy £100. But he’d just told this girl that the bag wasn’t his. So he decided to save face and leave the bags there. What’s the worse thing about leaving a strange package on a train station? No one really cares about that? He thought. Anyway, he sat down on his train and the girl sat on the opposite side to him, but facing him. They smiled at each other briefly. Before he opened his book. She was also reading book and it was one he had just finished reading! So automatically he thought ‘oh my god she is my future wife!’ Is that a feeling that anyone else gets? You know one thing about this person and suddenly you declare to yourself that you would walk ten thousand miles over broken glass just to be with them! No? Well, this guy did. He tried to play it cool and just read his book, but her image kept coming between him and the pages he was trying to read. He did notice that she was also looking over at him, and he started to wonder if there was something going on… Bulletproof
This guy was out one night with some friends and it was one of the nights when some of your friends bring their other friends and you all mix together. One of the friends took this guys eye and so he subtly shuffled nearer to her on the dance floor - side note, the dance floor is possibly the worst place to have a conversation. Especially when you are dancing. He ask’s her her name but he has no idea what she is saying. So he asks again, and again she replies but he has no idea what sh is saying, and he felt rude to ask again, so he just kinda smiled and carried on. They end up having a nice night overall and eventually everyone just goes home. And the next morning this girl with no name is still on the guy’s mind, so he go to ask his best friend about her, because he’s the one who knows her, so he plans to ask his mate is she single? is she nice?you know… So The guy nocks on his mate’s door and asks. ’yeah, the one with the funny name? She’s the one I’ve been talking about!’ And he’s like shiiiiit. The girl with the funny name that he likes, is the same girl that his best mate likes. So the guy put the brakes on and completely ignore his feelings because that’s a really sensible healthy thing to do. So some time goes by and within the friendship group they all hang out a couple times and the guy seems to be really clicking with this girl, yet he can’t help but feel terribly guilty. And one time they were all together having a drink at a friends flat, and the guy suddenly needed a wee. So he goes to the bathroom and does his business, but as he opens the door to go back out to the party, there she is. We’re all a little bit tipsy and she is just stood there waiting for me. I’m like - you need a wee? And she says no. so now it’s just weird. And I can see that she is stood in the doorway so I can’t really get out of the room. She’s just stood outside the door. The guy is very confused at this point, understandably so, so he just turns to go out of the door, but as he does she headbutts him- Ow, what was that?! She apologises and they both laugh. She then, in a rather tipsy state, tells the guy that she fancies him. So apparently a headbutt is a valley girl’s way of telling you they like you. “I like you.” She says. “Do you like me?” She asks. Obviously the guy is conflicted because he knows he has feelings for her but he doesn’t want to say anything before talking to his best mate. At this point there is a lot running through his head, not to mention the slight ache from the headbutt. All he is thinking, is that if it was just them two, it’d be great. If it was just them two, then nothing could stop them, they’d be bulletproof. But he has to consider the big picture. |
Waiting
So Pablo had been just bathing in his own misery since he had kind of not properly said goodbye to Diane. His friends had noticed that he seemed a little down but when they asked if he was OK he always said he was fine and that they had nothing to worry about. It had been about a year since he’d last seen Diane, and he was still working at the bus station, he’d even managed to get himself a little promotion. He was now the office supply manager, which as some of you will remember was Diane’s old job.
He walked into his new office for the first time and started putting his things in the desk drawers when he notices a scratch on the inside of the drawer. He pulls it out for a closer look and he reads it. “Diane’ it says. He laughs to himself as he remembers a conversation they had about graffiti. Pablo was a big fan of street art and Diane said she felt it just ruins the city. This led to a debate about modern art. Discussing why Vincent Van Crow is better than Claude Swanet. Then they talked about scratching names into trees and fences and Diane said she was also against that. They had a little debate over it and Pablo realised at this point that he would rather have an argument with Diane, than laugh with anyone else.
Diane must have scratched her name into the desk after this conversation. It was in this moment that Pablo decided that he needs to move on. He had a nice time but that part of his life is now over. His friends had told him about this new app that helps you find other birds to talk to and go n dates, so in the privacy of his office he sets up a profile for himself.
After a month or so, Pablo has been on a couple dates with various birds but none of them make him feel the same way that Diane could. Everywhere he went, he would just see things that reminded him of Diane, during conversations he would compare their answers to the ones Diane gave, it wasn’t healthy and he knew it, but it was impossible to stop.
More time passes by and Pablo finds himself flying into town for a date with a bird from the App called Peggy. They’re going to meet at a popular restaurant (Nandodo’s) and if it goes well he hopes to go to a bar after. They greet each other with a warm hug and both order their meals. Everything is going really well. In fact Pablo realises that it is about 10 minutes into the date when he first realises that he hasn’t thought about Diane! A new record! Peggy seems great, they has so much in common. She loves art and has a similar music taste, and they both support the same football team. It’s going so well. After they’ve had their meals, Peggy says “Pablo, I’ve had a really nice time, thank you.” As Pablo puts his coat on he says “I’ve had a great night too. Thanks Diane-“
Peggy looks confused.
Pablo sinks into himself. “I’m sorry” he says. Peggy leaves.
Pablo gets back to his flat and decides to write a letter. He is going to write a letter to his future partner - he doesn’t know who that may be yet. He knows who he wants it to be, but that seems a bit out of the question. So he writes a letter to nobody. He writes “To whom it may concern…” And whilst desperately trying to not think about Diane, he continues to write.
So Pablo had been just bathing in his own misery since he had kind of not properly said goodbye to Diane. His friends had noticed that he seemed a little down but when they asked if he was OK he always said he was fine and that they had nothing to worry about. It had been about a year since he’d last seen Diane, and he was still working at the bus station, he’d even managed to get himself a little promotion. He was now the office supply manager, which as some of you will remember was Diane’s old job.
He walked into his new office for the first time and started putting his things in the desk drawers when he notices a scratch on the inside of the drawer. He pulls it out for a closer look and he reads it. “Diane’ it says. He laughs to himself as he remembers a conversation they had about graffiti. Pablo was a big fan of street art and Diane said she felt it just ruins the city. This led to a debate about modern art. Discussing why Vincent Van Crow is better than Claude Swanet. Then they talked about scratching names into trees and fences and Diane said she was also against that. They had a little debate over it and Pablo realised at this point that he would rather have an argument with Diane, than laugh with anyone else.
Diane must have scratched her name into the desk after this conversation. It was in this moment that Pablo decided that he needs to move on. He had a nice time but that part of his life is now over. His friends had told him about this new app that helps you find other birds to talk to and go n dates, so in the privacy of his office he sets up a profile for himself.
After a month or so, Pablo has been on a couple dates with various birds but none of them make him feel the same way that Diane could. Everywhere he went, he would just see things that reminded him of Diane, during conversations he would compare their answers to the ones Diane gave, it wasn’t healthy and he knew it, but it was impossible to stop.
More time passes by and Pablo finds himself flying into town for a date with a bird from the App called Peggy. They’re going to meet at a popular restaurant (Nandodo’s) and if it goes well he hopes to go to a bar after. They greet each other with a warm hug and both order their meals. Everything is going really well. In fact Pablo realises that it is about 10 minutes into the date when he first realises that he hasn’t thought about Diane! A new record! Peggy seems great, they has so much in common. She loves art and has a similar music taste, and they both support the same football team. It’s going so well. After they’ve had their meals, Peggy says “Pablo, I’ve had a really nice time, thank you.” As Pablo puts his coat on he says “I’ve had a great night too. Thanks Diane-“
Peggy looks confused.
Pablo sinks into himself. “I’m sorry” he says. Peggy leaves.
Pablo gets back to his flat and decides to write a letter. He is going to write a letter to his future partner - he doesn’t know who that may be yet. He knows who he wants it to be, but that seems a bit out of the question. So he writes a letter to nobody. He writes “To whom it may concern…” And whilst desperately trying to not think about Diane, he continues to write.